


It hurts

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [61]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Boats and Ships, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Love, Panic Attacks, Sailing, Unresolved Tension, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:18:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Oliver hears out William's request and suddenly, he finds it hard to breathe while his chest clenches painfully. He is having a panic attack.





	It hurts

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place after Oliver's imprisonment. He has been out of prison for 357 days.
> 
> The series will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

William bit his bottom lip and rubbed his fingers together nervously as his dad did when he was nervous. William hesitated behind his dad and Felicity’s bedroom door. It was already late and they were probably going to bed. He didn’t want to bother them and there was no reason to start a serious conversation before going to sleep. He was about to back down and go back to his own room but he knew he was only dodging the inevitable.

William took a deep breath that he breathed out emptying his lungs. He knocked the bedroom door with his knuckles and he could hear his dad’s muffled voice saying: “Come on in.”

William slightly opened the door and peeked in the room. His dad was laying on the bed and he was reading something that looked like a mayoral document. William heard Felicity brushing her teeth in the bathroom. William hesitated once again but he stepped inside when his dad waggled his fingers.

“What’s up, buddy?” Oliver asked and dropped the papers onto the nightstand next to him.

William started playing with the hem of his T-shirt and he found it hard to speak. Oliver frowned a little and he gestured him to come closer. William walked over to his dad and Oliver patted Felicity’s side of the bed. William sat down on the edge of the bed but he refused to meet his dad’s gaze. 

Oliver cleared his throat and he warned: “William, I’m getting worried here and I’m jumping in weird conclusions so could you, please, just tell me what’s going on.”

William’s eyes snapped at his dad’s and he offered a tight smile as he explained: “It’s nothing bad but I need your permission.”

Oliver nodded and asked: “Permission to do what exactly?”

As soon as Oliver had finished his question, Felicity stepped out of the bathroom. She smiled at William sweetly and said: “I thought I heard a familiar voice.”

William smiled back at her and started climbing off the bed. Felicity hurried next to him and pressed a restraining hand on his shoulder. William looked up at her and Felicity smirked at him before saying: “Stay. There is plenty of room for all of us.”

William nodded and leaned his head on the headboard of the bed. Felicity climbed next to him and she placed her hand on his knee. She squeezed it comforting. Oliver scoffed to get William’s attention. William took a quick look of his dad and suddenly he was nervous again as his dad gave him a pointed look. His dad was definitely going to say no. 

As William turned to look at his dad, Oliver raised an eyebrow in question. Felicity looked a bit confused and Oliver explained to her: “William needs our permission and he was just about to tell us more about it.”

Felicity said gently: “Okay. What is this about, my sweet boy?”

William decided to look at Felicity because she was going to be the easier one to convince. William inhaled and blurted out: “I want to go on a boat trip.”

Immediately, Oliver’s shoulders tensed up and his mouth clicked shut. He clenched his jaw and his breathed faster than normally. He looked like he was debating with himself. Slowly Felicity turned her gaze from Oliver to William and she grabbed William’s hand. She smiled at him warmly but William’s eyes shifted to Oliver’s tensed figure. He looked to Felicity desperately, asking for help but Felicity just shook her head slightly.

She asked William: “Who is coming with you? Is it a school trip?”

William shook his head and answered: “This has nothing to do with school. This a tradition I have with my grandparents. Every summer we went sailing until the summer…”

His voice grew thinner as he kept talking and finally it disappeared. Felicity filled in: “You went sailing until the summer your mom died?”

William nodded but he didn’t say anything. Felicity pushed her glasses back up and continued: “And now you'd like to go on a boat trip next summer?”

William nodded once again and answered: “Yeah. I know it’s still very early but my grandparents insisted on me asking before you make other plans.”

Then he turned to look at his dad who was like a statue – he hadn’t moved at all and it looked like he was going to dislocate his own jaw. William asked with growing concern: “What do you think, dad?”

Oliver shook his head and jolted up. William winced further away from his dad but immediately he felt ashamed of his reaction because he wasn’t scared of his dad. Oliver would never hurt him or Felicity on purpose. Yet, he was acting in a strange way as he started pacing beside the bed without saying a word.

“Oliver?” Felicity said worriedly and she also stood up. 

She went up to Oliver and pressed her hands on his chest. She said more sternly: “Oliver.”

Oliver fixated his eyes at her and he stopped pacing. Then William noticed his dad had difficulty with breathing. William jolted up but he stayed on the other side of the bed. What had he done? This wasn’t the first time William saw his dad having a panic attack but still it was never easy to see his dad like that. He was usually so controlled and strong. It was scary to see him vulnerable and helpless.

Felicity whispered soothing words but William wasn’t sure what she was saying. It sounded like: “He’s here. I’m here. We’re safe. You’re safe.”

Oliver’s eyes drifted to William. He looked at his son like he was going to disappear if he didn’t keep looking at him. William took a hesitant step towards his dad but Felicity held up her hand. Immediately, William stopped and he could feel sudden tears pricking his eyes. He wanted run away from the room. His chest was clenching painfully and tears streamed down on his cheeks. This was his fault.

Felicity asked Oliver quietly: “Oliver? Are you going to be okay? I really have to go to check on our son.”

Oliver took a ragged breath and nodded with glassy eyes. Felicity patted his chest gently and pressed a small kiss on his cheek. Then she walked over to William and cupped his face with her palms. She looked straight into his watery eyes. William sniffled and he felt ashamed of his tears. He wasn’t the one who was having a panic attack.

“I’m so sorry,” William whispered and a fresh wave of tears streamed down his cheeks.

Felicity shook her head vigorously and she said in a stern voice: “I need you to listen to me carefully, William.”

William tried to look down but Felicity stopped him by placing her index finger under his chin. She let out a small grunt and said: “Don’t do that. I want you to look at me and understand what I’m saying.”

William nodded through his tears and Felicity pointed every word when she said: “This wasn’t your fault. This isn’t your fault. Do you understand me?”

William couldn’t answer. How wasn’t this his fault? He should have known better. He was well aware of his dad’s history with boats and sailing. Of course, his dad was going to panic when he heard about William's request. Although Oliver was very tight-lipped about his time on Lian Yu, William knew that many terrible things had happened to him. Those five years in hell had forced his dad to go through everyone’s worst nightmare and everything had started with a boat trip.

When William didn’t answer, Felicity stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs. She cleared her throat and asked again: “Do you understand me, William? None of this is your fault.”

William wanted to say he understood but no sound came out when opened his mouth. William took a peek of his dad over Felicity’s shoulder. Their eyes met and it seemed to wake up his dad. He took a few steps towards them and wrapped his arms around William’s shaking body. 

He repeated several times: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, William. I’m so sorry.”

William leaned his head on his dad’s shoulder and let his tears roll down freely. There was no reason to bottle them up anymore. William clung to Oliver’s shirt and it was stained with his tears. At some point, William noticed that his dad pulled him on the bed without letting go of him. William buried his face in his dad’s shoulder and he could feel how Oliver placed his hand on the back of William's head protectively.

Felicity stroked William’s back soothingly and pressed her cheek against William’s shoulder blades. William was wrapped between his parents and he cried without knowing why he was even crying anymore. He was feeling sorry for his dad and he was feeling sorry for their whole family. He wanted all those bad memories to disappear but he never wanted to let go of his dad again. 

Finally, William's sobs started ceasing. He sniffled but he didn’t let go of Oliver’s shirt – it was like his lifeline. He mumbled against his dad’s shoulder: “I’m so sorry, dad. I didn’t meat to upset you. I should have known better.”

“Shh,” Oliver answered gently and kissed the top of William’s head.

Then he continued: “William, I need you to hear me out. Felicity is absolutely right. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault. I should have been better at controlling my reaction.”

Felicity wrinkled her nose with disapproval and she said softly: “How about it was no one’s fault. Our lives and pasts are complicated and sometimes we don’t react like we should. Yet, nobody should be blamed for it. We are doing our best,”

William turned his head slightly so he could look at Felicity. Felicity smiled at him lovingly and stroked his hair. He mouthed: “I love you.”

“I love you too, my sweet boy,” Felicity answered and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

William turned to face his dad and he whispered: “I love you, dad.”

“I love you, William,” Oliver said and sighed deeply without loosening his hold of William. 

They just kept laying there until William’s breathing was even and strong. He let go of Oliver’s collar and said quietly: “Thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me,” Oliver stated determined while William rose to his elbows and sat up.

William rubbed his puffy eyes with his palms and sniffled once more. Felicity asked worriedly: “Are you going to be okay, William?”

“Yeah. I’m going to be fine,” he answered and tried to plaster a smile on his face.

Felicity smiled at him and pressed her hand on his shoulder before saying: “You don’t have to be brave for us.”

“I know,” William mumbled and offered more genuine smile.

Then he rose to his feet and walked to the door. He was about to turn around and wish good night when his dad said: “I promise to think about the boat trip, William. It must be really important to you. I’m not saying no although it’s going to be incredibly hard to let you go. When I started thinking of you on the sea, I panicked. I wouldn’t survive losing you. I still don’t know how my mom and sister survived.”

William frowned because he hadn’t expected his dad to promise to think about it. William would have understood if his dad had said no. He opened his mouth but sound didn’t follow. Oliver smiled at him tightly and continued: “I need you to know that you can always come to talk to us. We want you to talk to us and I hope my reaction to your request won’t change anything.”

William looked at his dad directly into the eyes and said without hesitation: “It won’t. I know I can always come to talk to you.”

Oliver let out a relieved sigh and Felicity took hold of his hand. Oliver smiled at her gratefully while William watched their silent conversation for a while. Then he opened the door and shouted over his shoulder: “Good night, Felicity. Good night, dad.”

“Good night, buddy,” Oliver answered.

Before William closed the door behind him, Felicity also said in her motherly voice: “Good night, my sweet boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:  
> William runs into his biggest bully who has many things to say about William's family.
> 
> P.s. I still have a few things to say so try to bare with me.
> 
> We're half way there (phew!). I wanted to take this chance to thank every reader and welcome new readers. I'm grateful for having you all out there. I want to give special thanks to the amazing Crazyreader2468, hope-for-olicity (Jacq) and Fanoffic. You have always made my day with your comments. There are so many great writers and readers out there... Thank you!
> 
> If there's something you would like to read, drop a comment. Prompts are always encouraged. 
> 
> I would also like to advertise a bit because I'm not on Tumblr. I have started writing a new story as well (I'm not giving up on this series. I'm just trying something new). It's called 99 ways to date you and it's a fluffy drabble collection in which every chapter is a different story of Oliver and Felicity's dating life. If you like fluffiness with a hint of jealousy and protectiveness, go to check it out.


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